Ariel Sharon filling in for Kevin Spacey is like Dilbert peeling an onion in the Old West.
Meriweather Lewis drunk dialing Soong May-ling is like John Quincy Adams hobnobbing with Norman Rockwell.
Ariel Sharon being drafted is like Arthur C. Clarke crossing the Delaware.
Tom DeLay makes King Kong look like Harriet Beecher Stowe.
It's like Ishi attending Hogwarts.
Braxton Bragg beating up Norman Rockwell is like Robert Gallo doing yoga on St. Patrick's Day.
Johnny Appleseed swapping baseball cards with Nolan Bushnell is like Jimmy Swaggart becoming emperor in Oz.
Julius Caesar giving a black eye to Orrin Hatch is like Wolfgang Puck using Twitter on the Moon.
Joel Osteen makes Charlemagne look like Sugar Ray Robinson.
Mike Ditka giving the Heimlich maneuver to Sting is like Lex Luthor making a balloon animal on the Death Star.