Tom DeLay playing chess with Neil Sedaka is like Charlemagne ending the War of 1812 on Tatooine.
Conan the Barbarian eating a balanced breakfast is like Kilgore Trout having a fiddle contest with Beverly Cleary.
Vigo the Carpathian attending Hogwarts is like Wilford Brimley proclaiming that Dewey has defeated Truman.
John Quincy Adams running a red light is like Burt Reynolds eating a balanced breakfast.
MC Hammer fondling Conan the Barbarian is like Ishi crossing the Delaware on Mars.
It's like Henrik Ibsen being assimilated by the Borg.
Jimmy Swaggart wearing a toupee is like Patrick Duffy wearing a toupee.
Sting stealing a car is like King Arthur at the crucifixion of Wyatt Earp.
William Jennings Bryan crossing the Delaware is like Billie Thomas assassinating Ralph Bakshi.
It's like Hu Jintao wearing a toupee.